I don't like to write about negative things, because I don't like to dwell in the pool of negativity. Sometimes we get that surprise that makes us stop in our tracks and re-access where we are going.
This past week I received two of these surprises. Same shot. One was friendly fire and one was testing the waters. I own my own company and I have several independent contractors that work for me. Their work is good and we have spent the past year and a half improving the quality of our work as a result of me losing a client because of a bad apple. Recently, I actually approached this client that I had lost to say "Hey, I have been working on the quality. Take a look." Before they did take a look...Boom...came the warning shot. "We like your work we just don't like the other contractors. They are not you." I should not have been surprised at this but I was. "No they are not me, but I need them because you can not afford to hire me full-time so I am piece mealing out an existence. Each job requires 2 people anyway, so I need someone besides me." The good news is that they hired me back at my proposed rate with the stipulation that I could have only 2 other people involved in the job. That works for me.
The other shot came from a trade show where the trade show coordinator came by to see what I would say when he fired his shot "I understand that you have independent contractors working for you." "Yes, I do." "I hear that your work is good, but not theirs." This is not what you expect to hear when you are at a trade show and the impact hurt even more since I was still recovering from the first shot. I couldn't respond. He figured he had hurt me and explained where he had gotten his story. A bad apple that I had let go right after she had done some bad work. I had paid for that job out of my own pocket, but apparently the client was still bad mouthing me. Great. I explained to the coordinator that I had paid for the work done out of my own pocket and I was disturbed that the client had felt like telling people even after I had made good on the deal.
I came home carrying a lot of pain from the encounter. Had I made the right decision to grow my little company? We had experienced growing pains and I had learned what I needed to look for in hiring people. This past year, we had had a really strong year with no complaints. I have been focusing on how I could grow my company even more and add new products. I was at mass just dealing with pain. Then it hit me. These warning shots were to get my attention. I had addressed the problem, learned from my mistakes and had come out better from this process. It was a purification.
We think we can become holy without pain and suffering just by being holy through prayer and works, but we need the pain to help us turn to Christ. Christ, who suffered pain for our sake. As Catholics we are even encouraged to offer up this suffering for someone else or for some intention. Suffering and uniting our little crosses to His Cross draws us closer to Christ on the Cross.
We need these warning shots so that we stop and make sure that we are on the right path. Not only the right path in our daily ventures, but on the right path to holiness-the way of the Cross.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Friday, August 3, 2012
Marooned
There are two ways you can be become marooned. One, you have broken a rule of the code and instead of death you are marooned. Two, you shipwreck on an island and are marooned. It is a feeling of powerlessness and loneliness when you are marooned. I speak of spiritual marooning since I have not actually encountered the literal version. The spiritual is just as desolate. I experienced 7 months of being marooned. I would go to daily mass and feel nothing. I would pray the rosary and feel nothing. I just felt dead inside. I knew God was there for me and present in my life, but I just felt like a dried up husk wondering how he could possibly bring me back to life. It affected me outside in minor ways that other people did not really notice. I would look at beautiful things and not feel inspired like I had in the past just to pray a prayer of thanksgiving. I would sit before the tabernacle or the Blessed Sacrament and wait for My Master's Voice. I would strain to hear a whisper, desperate to hear anything. Nothing.
How is one saved from being marooned? Well, in the literal sense another boat comes along and if the Captain (after hearing your plea) grants you permission to come aboard-you are saved. In the spiritual life, it is very similar. The Captain hears your pleas (he always does) and then he does the most amazing thing he reminds you that you are His and the you have already been saved. Now each spiritual story is different. Some really did leave the boat and find their way back to it. In my case, I was on the boat and one of the crew was sent to help me open my eyes and see that I was not marooned. I was sent a Spiritual Director, who was able to help me brush the sand off and help me get my sea legs back under me. I have been trying to figure out his function on the Ship and have come to the conclusion that he is the Ship's Doctor. He listens to my symptoms and what is ailing me and then prescribes a prayer, spiritual reading, meditation on scripture passages and I have seen progress. The good Doctor has also assured me that sometimes I will not hear my Captain's Voice and it is not because I am being punished or have fallen away. Sometimes, He gives us a rest from His presence because He is so great and we do need a rest. It is during this time of rest that we are usually being formed for some task that He is preparing us for and that is why one of the virtues is patience.
So fellow crew mates if you are feeling like your are shipwrecked or marooned, go to the Ship's Doctor for he is there to help you prepare for what the Captain may be calling you to do.
How is one saved from being marooned? Well, in the literal sense another boat comes along and if the Captain (after hearing your plea) grants you permission to come aboard-you are saved. In the spiritual life, it is very similar. The Captain hears your pleas (he always does) and then he does the most amazing thing he reminds you that you are His and the you have already been saved. Now each spiritual story is different. Some really did leave the boat and find their way back to it. In my case, I was on the boat and one of the crew was sent to help me open my eyes and see that I was not marooned. I was sent a Spiritual Director, who was able to help me brush the sand off and help me get my sea legs back under me. I have been trying to figure out his function on the Ship and have come to the conclusion that he is the Ship's Doctor. He listens to my symptoms and what is ailing me and then prescribes a prayer, spiritual reading, meditation on scripture passages and I have seen progress. The good Doctor has also assured me that sometimes I will not hear my Captain's Voice and it is not because I am being punished or have fallen away. Sometimes, He gives us a rest from His presence because He is so great and we do need a rest. It is during this time of rest that we are usually being formed for some task that He is preparing us for and that is why one of the virtues is patience.
So fellow crew mates if you are feeling like your are shipwrecked or marooned, go to the Ship's Doctor for he is there to help you prepare for what the Captain may be calling you to do.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Checking the Charts
When I was a Protestant I had the bible and it was ALL I needed. As a Presbyterian we also had the Book of Order, which some ministers followed and others did not really acknowledge its presence. I have to be honest with you. I never read the Presbyterian Book of Order so I really do not know what it says. The knowledge I had about my faith and what it meant to be a Presbyterian was not really concrete. I thought it was concrete, but I can tell you now that it wasn't. We were allowed to work within a very wide boundary, which makes it hard when you are talking to others about what you believe and what you do not believe and what Presbyterians teach.
I learned before I was even on my way into the Catholic Church that the Church not only has the Bible but it also has the writings and teaching of the Church Fathers. The best collection of the Church's teachings can be found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It has an index in the back so it is easy to find specific teachings regarding subjects that might test your faith. I have started reading a portion of it daily, so that I have a better understanding of what the Church teaches. It even lists the scriptures that support these teachings.
So with this great deposit of faith why are so many Catholics lost on what the Church actually teaches?
The answer: They have failed to check the charts.
So many Catholics have been taught skills to survive the world, but they were not shown the guide book as to why those skills might be necessary.
They have gone out into the world without a map or a plan and just wander in it until the hit land or in many cases debris. They get shipwrecked. They get boarded by worldly teachings. They get entrapped on an island of sirens that promise them all their desires.
Fellow shipmates, we need to save these souls but first we need to check the charts and know what the Church teaches. We need to be as sure and as solid in our Faith before we can be of good service to these fellow mates. I encourage you to learn about what the Church teaches so that you really do KNOW what it teaches instead of what people think it teaches. If you have powder monkeys teach them where to find Church teaching. That way we will not have to worry about them getting lost as they start on their journey.
St. Christopher, pray for all of us as we travel on this great journey.
I learned before I was even on my way into the Catholic Church that the Church not only has the Bible but it also has the writings and teaching of the Church Fathers. The best collection of the Church's teachings can be found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It has an index in the back so it is easy to find specific teachings regarding subjects that might test your faith. I have started reading a portion of it daily, so that I have a better understanding of what the Church teaches. It even lists the scriptures that support these teachings.
So with this great deposit of faith why are so many Catholics lost on what the Church actually teaches?
The answer: They have failed to check the charts.
So many Catholics have been taught skills to survive the world, but they were not shown the guide book as to why those skills might be necessary.
They have gone out into the world without a map or a plan and just wander in it until the hit land or in many cases debris. They get shipwrecked. They get boarded by worldly teachings. They get entrapped on an island of sirens that promise them all their desires.
Fellow shipmates, we need to save these souls but first we need to check the charts and know what the Church teaches. We need to be as sure and as solid in our Faith before we can be of good service to these fellow mates. I encourage you to learn about what the Church teaches so that you really do KNOW what it teaches instead of what people think it teaches. If you have powder monkeys teach them where to find Church teaching. That way we will not have to worry about them getting lost as they start on their journey.
St. Christopher, pray for all of us as we travel on this great journey.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The First Mate
We all know who The Captain is or some of us are seeking to find out who The Captain is. We all are learning and continuing to learn more about him.
I have decided to learn more about The Captain by learning more about The First Mate. You see The First Mate is chosen by The Captain. The First Mate listens to the concerns of the crew and takes them to The Captain. The First Mate also will take The Captain's wishes for the crew and share them with the crew. In the view of this Great Ship, I think have figured out that The First Mate is also The Captain's Mother.
As a Protestant, I always thought why bother talking to the Mother...I'm going straight to The Captain! As Catholics, we still do talk to Our Lord and Our Lord does listen. But when you talk to his Mother and you ask her to take your requests to her Son-don't you think He is going to listen that much more? (Don't you tend to listen more when your Mother asks you to do something?)
I have dedicated this year to finding out more about Our Lord's Mother-Mary. I am even going so far as consecrating myself to her, which I understand is a journey on its own. I love Jesus, Our Lord-Our Savior-Our Captain and I want to know more about him, so what better way than to find out more from his mother?
Fellow crew memembers and dear lost souls, do not fear or hate The First Mate. The Captain loves her and honors her as a Son ought to. Maybe we should do the same since she is only trying to love us in return.
I have decided to learn more about The Captain by learning more about The First Mate. You see The First Mate is chosen by The Captain. The First Mate listens to the concerns of the crew and takes them to The Captain. The First Mate also will take The Captain's wishes for the crew and share them with the crew. In the view of this Great Ship, I think have figured out that The First Mate is also The Captain's Mother.
As a Protestant, I always thought why bother talking to the Mother...I'm going straight to The Captain! As Catholics, we still do talk to Our Lord and Our Lord does listen. But when you talk to his Mother and you ask her to take your requests to her Son-don't you think He is going to listen that much more? (Don't you tend to listen more when your Mother asks you to do something?)
I have dedicated this year to finding out more about Our Lord's Mother-Mary. I am even going so far as consecrating myself to her, which I understand is a journey on its own. I love Jesus, Our Lord-Our Savior-Our Captain and I want to know more about him, so what better way than to find out more from his mother?
Fellow crew memembers and dear lost souls, do not fear or hate The First Mate. The Captain loves her and honors her as a Son ought to. Maybe we should do the same since she is only trying to love us in return.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
We Have Our Heading!!!
I borrowed the line above from Captain Jack Sparrow, who says this after he hands over his compass and finds out where his course lies for the treasure he is seeking.
Recently, I was searching for what God was calling me to do. The show that I had prayed to be in, prepared and researched for, had finished its last show. I felt lost. For the first time in 2 years, I was not sure what I should do. I did not want to be selfish and think that God still wanted me to be a part of this company that I was touring with and close myself off from what he was truly calling me to do. I prayed for God to enlighten me and to give me wisdom. Should I remain with this company that I love so well? Should I go forth and try a hand at doing some independent religious theater? (Bookings were low for the main company this would just possibly increase my work) Or should I open myself up for opportunities in the secular world? (Two of my fellow actors in the religious company were already doing this to increase work for themselves). I prayed and continued to cast about in the two pools that I could have a hand in creating more opportunity for myself. I got my answer 9 days later.
It shocked me so much that I almost leapt out of bed. "You are a religious actress and you are needed at the company that you are already with." I almost shouted out in response to that affirmation the words above "We have our heading!" but I did not want to disturb my husband who was still sleeping. I finished my novena that day to my confirmation saint and felt that she had been praying for me. Ironically, I had not started the novena for myself but to ask for the safety and protection of my friends. I had just added that my saint pray for me to find direction and so I did.
I went to mass to discover that it was the feast day of St. Therese also known as Little Flower. The responsoral hymn that we said during the reading of the Psalm also shocked me into amazement. "Guide me along the everlasting way. Guide me, Lord" I had been singing that song throughout my 9 days of discernment as a kind of singing prayer to God. I prayed the rosary after mass and then headed out to pick up one of my fellow actors. We were heading to do two shows for college students about 5 hours away. As my fellow actor, belted himself he asked "Do you know where your going?" In Captain Jack fashion I replied, "Aye, we have our heading!"
My fellow crew member, when you are feeling lost and feeling like your compass it out of sorts-pray!!! Pray for God, Our Good Captain, to give you wisdom on the course that he wants you to take. I shall be praying that you shall have open ears when He answers your prayer with your coordinates.
The Powder Monkey
Recently, I was searching for what God was calling me to do. The show that I had prayed to be in, prepared and researched for, had finished its last show. I felt lost. For the first time in 2 years, I was not sure what I should do. I did not want to be selfish and think that God still wanted me to be a part of this company that I was touring with and close myself off from what he was truly calling me to do. I prayed for God to enlighten me and to give me wisdom. Should I remain with this company that I love so well? Should I go forth and try a hand at doing some independent religious theater? (Bookings were low for the main company this would just possibly increase my work) Or should I open myself up for opportunities in the secular world? (Two of my fellow actors in the religious company were already doing this to increase work for themselves). I prayed and continued to cast about in the two pools that I could have a hand in creating more opportunity for myself. I got my answer 9 days later.
It shocked me so much that I almost leapt out of bed. "You are a religious actress and you are needed at the company that you are already with." I almost shouted out in response to that affirmation the words above "We have our heading!" but I did not want to disturb my husband who was still sleeping. I finished my novena that day to my confirmation saint and felt that she had been praying for me. Ironically, I had not started the novena for myself but to ask for the safety and protection of my friends. I had just added that my saint pray for me to find direction and so I did.
I went to mass to discover that it was the feast day of St. Therese also known as Little Flower. The responsoral hymn that we said during the reading of the Psalm also shocked me into amazement. "Guide me along the everlasting way. Guide me, Lord" I had been singing that song throughout my 9 days of discernment as a kind of singing prayer to God. I prayed the rosary after mass and then headed out to pick up one of my fellow actors. We were heading to do two shows for college students about 5 hours away. As my fellow actor, belted himself he asked "Do you know where your going?" In Captain Jack fashion I replied, "Aye, we have our heading!"
My fellow crew member, when you are feeling lost and feeling like your compass it out of sorts-pray!!! Pray for God, Our Good Captain, to give you wisdom on the course that he wants you to take. I shall be praying that you shall have open ears when He answers your prayer with your coordinates.
The Powder Monkey
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Why Powder Monkey?
A powder monkey is the lowest status you can have aboard a pirate ship. It's lower than cabin boy. A powder monkey was in charge of running powder to the cannons and the muskets. It was a dangerous job during an attack because if a spark hit your container of powder there would be a new position open on the ship.
We are all powder monkeys. We are constantly in harm's way and we handle items that could blow up in our face all the time. We need a Captain who loves us and who will oversee that we don't get too far in over our head. If you choose to have Jesus as your Captain you will have someone that will be watching out for you. I didn't say he would make you safe in this world, because life in this world is dangerous. He is there for you. When you do get too far in over your head, the Captain is waiting for you to call out his name and he will come to your aid.
You can choose many Captains to follow as for me I will choose "the way, the truth and the life."
We are all powder monkeys. We are constantly in harm's way and we handle items that could blow up in our face all the time. We need a Captain who loves us and who will oversee that we don't get too far in over our head. If you choose to have Jesus as your Captain you will have someone that will be watching out for you. I didn't say he would make you safe in this world, because life in this world is dangerous. He is there for you. When you do get too far in over your head, the Captain is waiting for you to call out his name and he will come to your aid.
You can choose many Captains to follow as for me I will choose "the way, the truth and the life."
Friday, June 18, 2010
Ahoy!
I created this blog to combine the two things I love most my Catholic faith and the romance of piracy.
I know that real pirates were the opposite of the ideal Christians. They stole things, they killed people, they drank excessively, they caroused and they cursed. They were the greatest sinners of all time.
News flash-we are all sinners. Some of us may even put pirates to shame. Which is why I am thankful for my Catholic Faith. Our Lord gave us the sacraments, because we are sinners and he knew that we would need these life preservers on our faith voyage.
What I hope to accomplish with this blog is to share my adventures with you and to share my love of my Catholic faith with those who may feel the same or those who do not know anything about Catholicism or those who are completely turned off by Catholicism. "Adventures?" you may ask. It's true I do have some amazing adventures, since I am actually a pirate re-enactor and a fairly new Catholic. In fact, I have decided to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, so that I understand the Church and her teachings better.
So join me if you dare, I won't guarantee that the ride will be smooth, because I'm not the one in charge of this ship. I am merely The Powder Monkey.
I know that real pirates were the opposite of the ideal Christians. They stole things, they killed people, they drank excessively, they caroused and they cursed. They were the greatest sinners of all time.
News flash-we are all sinners. Some of us may even put pirates to shame. Which is why I am thankful for my Catholic Faith. Our Lord gave us the sacraments, because we are sinners and he knew that we would need these life preservers on our faith voyage.
What I hope to accomplish with this blog is to share my adventures with you and to share my love of my Catholic faith with those who may feel the same or those who do not know anything about Catholicism or those who are completely turned off by Catholicism. "Adventures?" you may ask. It's true I do have some amazing adventures, since I am actually a pirate re-enactor and a fairly new Catholic. In fact, I have decided to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, so that I understand the Church and her teachings better.
So join me if you dare, I won't guarantee that the ride will be smooth, because I'm not the one in charge of this ship. I am merely The Powder Monkey.
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